I am 31 years old and pregnant without marriage. I only understand when a single mother.

"Smile mother, this time the parent -child activity asked my parents to participate together, I’m sorry!" I went to the kindergarten to pick up my daughter. Teacher Wu pulled me aside and bowed while bowing, and I was embarrassed and apologized.

Kindergartens require parents to participate in parent -child activities together. I can understand.However, Mr. Wu’s "enthusiasm" made me hate her a little.I think Mr. Wu apologized for intentional components again and again.

Smile has no dad, I hope the teachers are like laughing as other children.What’s wrong with no dad?Shouldn’t it be looked down on without a dad?There is no dad to be pitiful?Where does the theory come from!

Did I decide to have a child 3 years ago, was it wrong?

Speaker: Xiaoyu (pseudonym)

Age: 34 years old

Occupation: corporate executive

01. Become a single mother

I was Xiaoyu, 31 years old.After graduating from college, he stayed in Shanghai and lived alone.

No one told me about my pregnancy, because the work was busy and had a lot of business trips.Later, the pregnancy response was a bit powerful. I always vomited and ran to the toilet in the company. I couldn’t hide it. I told my colleagues that I would be a mother.

Everyone was surprised. After all, it is not a glorious thing to have children before getting married.A good relationship girlfriend tentatively asked me if I was really going to give birth to this child.I said, I am sure, I want this child.

So she said, then give birth.One is one, and the woman I know has not regretted having a child.Like her, everyone would bless me when everyone couldn’t persuade me, saying that I would have a cute baby.

For a few years of work, I have opened a world. In the company, no matter the age, it is called "Sister Rain".Therefore, in the company, I did n’t feel abnormal because of unmarried pregnancy. Everyone was like an appointment. I did n’t ask who the child ’s father was, I just gave me warmth and help.

I think that since I can do my work well, one person can naturally bring the child out.I didn’t tell my parents until I was about to give birth.My parents are in a small city in a small city. I don’t tell them that they are afraid that their ideas are traditionally and cannot accept it.

I am going to give birth. I hope my parents have no time to blame me. I hope they can forgive me when they see the child’s cuteness.

I told my parents to be hospitalized and have children. My mother asked my child and dad?I said that the child’s father went abroad to work abroad. Does his mother ask his parents?I said that his parents were dead, and there was no one else at home.

I felt the unhappiness of my mother on the phone. She must think so: the daughter is going to have a child, who is the child’s father, and the uncle does not know!However, my mother still distressed me. If she didn’t say more, she bought a ticket to serve me confinement.

The mother came, and the father stayed at home.I think it doesn’t matter if my father is coming, as long as my mother tells me some experience.

The child was born, a girl, very beautiful.I named her with a smile, hoping that she would be happy in her life.My mother served me well. Although I could see her inquiring from time to time from time to time, I kept pretending not to see it.

I asked my girlfriend to pretend to be a man with a voice transformer, and accidentally called from abroad to condolences to me.Whenever I received a call from "foreign", I ran to a place where my mother could hear, and deliberately used the voice of my cricket to cook the phone porridge with my "husband" for a while.

My mother was deceived by me, and she really thought that the daughter’s man went abroad.Occasionally, I would express her greetings from "son -in -law". With the cuteness of the child, my mother soon was immersed in the role of the uncle.

I know that I can’t hide my mother for a day, but I don’t know how to tell her, it can be dragged for a day.The mother couldn’t stop the joy of her heart, and began to show off her granddaughter to her father.

Finally, the father who retreated could not stand the temptation of his mother, and came to me to help my mother laugh.

The family of four is happy together.It’s about one year old, and the word "dad" came up with a smile at a smile, which surprised me.

My mother answered and said, "Smile, do you miss my dad?!" I hurriedly stuffed the bottle in my hand into my daughter’s mouth, and said, where can such a small child know the meaning of a word and seize this topic to the oblivion.Passed.

Did you quarrel with your son -in -law?The mother asked in doubt that the two were so far away and should be considerate of each other.I didn’t want to look at her concerns, turned my head to pretend to clean up the pants that smiled and wet.

Although I didn’t answer my mother’s question, I said guilty in my heart, Mom, I’m sorry, you don’t have no son -in -law, you can’t have a dad, because I have used a paper agreement to "judge myself".

02. I want this child

When I knew that I was pregnant, the first thing I thought of was to hide Wang Bin, because I was afraid that he would let me kill the child after he knew.

Wang Bin and I met in a business training. He was 4 years younger than me. I was attracted by his lesions and humor. He approached me because of my gentleness and generosity.

Originally, I did not accept my sister -in -law, but I still failed to resist his charm. We were together.Although in the two places, Wang Bin can always think of a way to tease me.

He always said that the distance is beautiful.It is because we are not in a city that we have such a deep attachment to each other, and each time we have a different feeling.I also asked him, if we got married, would we still have a different place?

He said that baby, there is a way to get married after marriage. In short, people have to live in the present. Which step is naturally solved by which steps to go, why bother?If you think too much, you will worry about it. If you worry, you will be faster when you are worried.

Seeing that I am still worried, he said in confrontation. You can rest assured that I will definitely arrange it with me.

I believe him.We have been together for three years, and I am 27 to 30.I want to get married.

I made this request for Wang Bin, and he said to discuss with his family.The news I waited was that his mother hoped that he would find a girl in the local area. The key is to be smaller than him.

When Wang Bin told me on the phone, he showed sadly.He said that he was reluctant to feel our feelings, after all, he talked for three years.He told me, or we think about it again.

What else can be?Although I knew that there was no result, I still agreed to his request, and I couldn’t give up the feelings of these three years.

I went to his city and stayed with him for three days to discuss their way out.He was unwilling to leave his city, saying that he was stabilizing during the entrepreneurial period.I don’t want to abandon my career that I have worked.

I know that even if I went to his city, we still won’t have results.Because I know that Wang Bin’s words to his mother have always been obedient.A woman who is 4 years older than her son and 30 years old cannot be allowed to enter their house.

That meeting became our breakup ceremony.In the evening, we hugged sadly and talked to each other’s heartbroken; during the day, we had to face the preparation of reality.Finally, we talked about each other and decided not to contact.

What I didn’t tell him was that I didn’t take contraceptives at that time.I think it is impossible to get an accident during the safety period. If you are pregnant, it is God.

Whoever thinks of God is really the case, I am pregnant.Tell Wang Bin this news, maybe something will change because of this incident, I am tangled and persuade myself.

However, after calm down, I think if they think that I want to tie Wang Bin in this way, wouldn’t I have no to wash myself in my life.Moreover, what if people let me get rid of this child?What should I do if Wang Bin also asked me to kill this child?

I dare not think about it anymore.Thirty -year -old woman, I do n’t know where my future emotions are.

A child can give me an emotional sustenance. I have my own house, my own car, and I have enough ability to raise this child.

So I decided to give birth to the child to raise it myself.After a few months, the scene in the TV series flashed in my head: After the woman raised the child, the man suddenly came to grab the child.Even if he doesn’t tell Wang Bin now, what if he knows what to do with me in the future?

It was just impossible to hide him, so I thought of a way to do it once and for all, so that he gave up the child’s custody.

I contacted Wang Bin again.Seeing my Weilong’s abdomen, Wang Bin looked at me in surprise. He definitely thought I was married, and I thought.I told him with a smile, I was pregnant, and then took out a piece of paper for him to sign.

This is an agreement to abandon custody.The above briefly shows that Wang Bin and I have a child, but the custody right belongs to me alone and has nothing to do with Wang Bin.

Wang Bin ridiculed that you are really unreasonable, who will fight for this inexplicable child with you, who knows where he comes.He picked up his "签" and signed his name to lift his legs away, and I wanted to scold him.

Fortunately, it is thoroughly broken, and it will be entangled in the future.I comfort myself.The child finally became me alone. No one was fighting with me. I should be happy. I did not expect that there are words such as "dad" and "father" in this world.

I want to forget Wang Bin and do it too.However, what I didn’t expect was that I had to go to him because there was an important thing that he could do.

03. Ruthless reality

Although ashamed of my parents, I still enjoy a warm life.My parents have completely moved to live with me. After returning home every day, watching my daughter’s sweet smile, watching my parents enjoying the joy of God, I was very happy, thinking that I would be satisfied with my life.

However, the problem is still here.Although I was determined to raise children alone, after all, I was unmarried and had children. I was embarrassed, so I did n’t go to her account until I smiled.

It only knew that the single mother raised her children was not as simple as imagined. She would encounter a lot of practical problems, such as unable to rest, such as unable to give their children a hukou, and so on.

I have heard my colleagues say that only in marriage can enjoy fertility holidays. Fortunately, because of good performance, there is not much embarrassment after giving birth. He allows me to work at home. This solves me.The problem.

However, when I got the account with a smile, I encountered a problem.The police station said that the child should be given to the child. On the hukou book, the father’s column cannot be empty.In desperation, I had to contact Wang Bin.

Wang Bin asked me what was on the phone.I told him about laughing the household registration. Whoever thought about it, he just said a word and hung up the phone.He said coldly, "She is just your child, what does it have to do with me."

I laughed bitterly, is it that I hurt him to do things?There is no way, the child’s hukou is up, I have to call him many times, but at this time, Wang Bin is still unwilling to "help me."

I found some friends we had met before and helped to persuade him. Finally, I told him that the household registration was finally resolved.However, Wang Bin’s words made me chill. He said that I was married and became a family, and I would like it. I hope you don’t forget the trouble for me to find me.

Is this a boyfriend who has been with you for three years?I can’t believe my ears.I am afraid that he will still need to come forward in the future, so I have to thank him for help and once again promise not to bother him.

However, things are not over.

She grew up day by day, she was always afraid of darkness and high, and she had to go to sleep at night.I think these are normal, but in my parents’ eyes, they are not like this. They always attribute these to "no father’s company."

I no longer hide it, and I do n’t explain that there is no “call from abroad”. Although my parents are still puzzled, I do n’t ask anymore. It is estimated that there are already answers in my heart.They don’t ask, don’t want to make me sad, don’t poke my sad things.

The family has passed three years calmly.In these three years, except for laughing and occasionally, we will unconsciously say the word "dad", we have never mentioned these two words in front of her.

In order to avoid these two words, I also changed my parents and shouted "Grandma, Grandpa" with a smile.

I smiled at the kindergarten.Our family can not mention "dad", but the kindergarten smiled but saw other people’s dad.She came back and asked, why other children have dads, but they did not.

I saw that she was holding a beautiful card in her hand, and looked at her eyes seriously to explain to her: "Everyone has something different at home, dad is like a card in the hand in his hand, laughingIssuing the card, but there are no other children. Other people have dads, so we can. "

She seemed to understand, she didn’t ask me about "dad" anymore.However, the parent -child activity of kindergarten still made me stuffed.

Parent -child activities asked the children’s father and mother to participate together. Teacher Wu, the head teacher, apologized to me, as if she was wrong.It doesn’t matter. In order to avoid doubts from laughing, I told her that my mother had something else to be busy and could not participate that day.

Once like this, twice, the third time asked me to ask me.She said that others have "dads". Can we buy a "dad" so that I can participate in parent -child activities like other children.

Smile really treats "Dad" as a item that can be bought.

I don’t know how to explain to her.I think, am I too selfish, I do n’t need Wang Bin, but Xiaoxiao needs “dad”. I ca n’t deprive her the right to “dad”.

I decided to help find my father with a smile, even if it was unsuccessful, I would like to try it.I once again dialed Wang Bin’s phone.

I thought he would get rid of me, and then hung up the phone. What I didn’t expect was that this time Wang Bin agreed and met with a smile.

It may be really thicker than water. When he met and smiled, he shouted "Dad" and "Dad" and rushed into Wang Bin’s arms.

Wang Bin pretended to be just returning from abroad, stroking his hair with a smile, "This is a smile, my daughter is so beautiful." He told Xiao Xiao to work abroad.Essence

He told his mother if he said with a smile and asked his mother to tell Dad that Dad bought it for you.I was very happy.Later, she proudly told other children in the kindergarten that I also had dads, and my dad worked far away.

Wang Bin said that he would send some living expenses to smile every month, and I was surprised to change his change.He said that after he got married, he found that his wife could not have children, but because it was the daughter -in -law who was paired by his mother, they would not divorce.He is considering going to adopt a boy.

I didn’t expect such a result, but I was happy to be the result.Although I can’t understand why my dad can’t be with himself, I have to go to work such a far "foreign".

However, after all, this is already the best ending. I don’t have to cover up because I have a single pregnancy and have a daughter. When I see a smile and happiness, I think everything is worth it.

Written at the end:

With the progress of the times, more and more single mothers.For various reasons, they chose to give birth to a small life and raise him alone, which requires great courage and psychological tolerance.Mother love is always great, no matter what their attitude towards life is worthy of our admiration.

Single mothers raised their children adults, and the difficulties were very difficult to understand.Even if they can bear the economic conditions of raising children, some worldly concepts and people’s pointers in real society still put a lot of pressure on them.

Fortunately, with the advancement of time, people’s emotional concepts are updated.I have heard a voice saying that fertility is a good thing, and marriage is another thing. You cannot tie these two things together.

The country is also encouraging women to give birth, hoping that single mothers are better. In fact, their goodwill is the performance of the entire society.

Do you agree with this view?Welcome to comment.

Author: flowers blooming brilliantly

Edit: Han Yan

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