"I gave birth to my child before graduating, and I would find a better job."

Source: Visual China

During the two sessions of this year, with the suggestion of "encouraging and guaranteeing for a master’s degree in schools and doctoral students to marry and giving birth", the topic of marriage and childbirth also attracted attention again.

According to statistics released by the Ministry of Education in March this year, in 2021, there were 3.332,400 graduate students across the country, of which 509,500 doctoral students and 2.8229 million students were 28.229 million.More than three million masterpieces, most of them are 22-30 years old, are the age of "marriage and breeding" in the eyes of the public.

But at the same time, "The dissertation can’t be written, there is still a kung fu to get married and give birth to a baby", "In the future, the mentor is even more unwilling to recruit girls", "The doctor will be extended again and will be dropped out of school.Shuo Bosheng’s resistance to marriage and baby during reading.

For Shuo Bosheng, especially doctoral groups, graduation is not easy.According to the China Education Online Survey Report, the posture of doctoral extension in 2003 was about 46.5%, and it continued to rise after breaking 60%in 2012. By 2018, it reached 64%.The number of doctoral students who do not know when they can graduate with the Yanbi rate.

Facing the risk of Yanbi, the pressure of academic studies, and the burden on the economy, how many students can take the steps of marriage and babies?What kind of family support behind them is "backing"?

Mustard piles talked with several masterpieces. Among them, some of them were born in doctoral and master’s graduation defenses; some have just been engaged in the first half of the year, and they are planning to get married as soon as possible.When you go to scientific research, you will never get married and have a baby during the study.

Keke female 34 -year -old college teacher now lives in Beijing

Doctoral enrollment in 2014, married in 2016, gave birth to baby in April 2018, graduated in June

My lover and I graduated in 2013. After that, he had been working, and I went to study for a year after working.After getting married in 2016, I actually thought about giving birth to the baby during the reading of the reading, because when I thought of my graduation, I was 30 years old. I still worked for one year before reading the blog.Shuobo has been read for a year, so that it is at least two years away from others. At that time, I felt that I couldn’t keep up with the pace of my peers, so I wanted to give birth to the baby when I wanted to read the blog.

But I have been hesitating, mainly because I am not sure if I can balance my studies, after all, I have to pay a lot of energy on my child.In this hesitation, the baby came by himself, which is said to say that God helped make a decision.Thinking at the time, now I accept it.

Fortunately, it was the last year of my doctor at that time. At that time, I was basically determined that I would not postpone it. I was able to graduate in 2018.Most of them are writing and organizing such a work, and the impact is not great.I have a sister who is pregnant and gave birth to a baby when I was reading. The subject plan was completely interrupted, so I had to postpone it.

I feel that I am lucky. It may be a physical problem. In addition, my baby is more considerate of me. I did n’t respond too much during pregnancy.That is, in the third trimester, there will be some impact at the activity. For example, walking is slower, and other aspects basically have no impact on me.I have been living in the school dormitory in the first half of my pregnancy. I feel that there is no problem at all. In the second half, I have some physical inconvenience, and then I moved out of the house where I rented with my lover.

During the period of pregnancy, I paid attention to rest and avoid staying up late, because it was easier to get tired during pregnancy, and I had to leave enough rest time for myself.What I can do is to basically abandon everything outside the outside world, and use all the time I can use on writing papers. Other things do not do it. I do n’t want to do it, and then use the time that can be emptied to rest.

Time is also very coincident. I just finished my graduation thesis. In April, my baby was born. After I confinement, I was going to meet the defense at the end of May, and the pressure of graduation suddenly came over.In fact, for normal girls, in the month of confinement, pure rest may not be able to recover. At that time, I had to take care of the children and feed, while preparing to answer and other trivial things.Various tables …

For a while, it was basically even a shaft. There was no time to sleep. My period was quite collapsed, and it really affected the postpartum rest.My mother looked very angry and said, "You can make your body." But there was no way. At that time, I thought that I had reached this step.It is really not recommended that others like me, it is really too hard.

Looking back at that or two now, it is really the most tired period of my life, but when I graduate, I feel that I have gained something in my life, and then I have achieved a phased result in my studies.The child gave birth to two "children" and completed two major events in life, which is still very satisfying.

In fact, from my personal perspective, I do n’t recommend going to my road for most of the Bosheng, unless you have a strong “backing”.When I gave birth to a baby, my mother and my mother -in -law were here and kept taking care of the baby. At that time, my lover also worked for four or five years, and I had a stable income at home.I think if there is enough support for human and material resources in the home, try not to give birth to babies when reading blogs, especially in cities like Beijing, the burden is really great.

Weiwei female 28 -year -old public institution now lives in Zhengzhou

Master’s degree and marriage in 2017, giving birth to baby and graduation in March 2020

My husband was four years older than me. When my sophomore was with him, he had already worked. When he was a senior, we booked a marriage and got married as soon as he was studying.The plan for our marriage is to give birth to the child before I graduate to find a job.

At that time, the idea was that the girls came out after studying for three years. From the perspective of the employer, this age may soon intend to ask for a child.There are so many master’s degree now, and women are in a weak position in employment.My undergraduate major is human resources. I have also been an HR intern before. When I encounter a female graduate student when I recruit, I will definitely ask her marriage and childbirth to judge what kind of stage she is currently. Girls in this respect.It will still suffer a lot.

But if you have a child to go to job hunting, at least you do n’t need to rest at least for pregnancy. At most, you occasionally take care of the children and families.The unit may also feel that you have become a family and have children, and it should be more stable.

On the other hand, I also consider the factors and physical factors. Now everyone’s work pressure is particularly large. The physical conditions of girls are getting worse and worse with age.There may be no easy to give birth to a child earlier.

Yan San actually had no class. At that time, the main thing was to write the dissertation and wait for the baby to be born.I was married for a marriage last semester. At that time, I had houses and cars in Zhengzhou. I went to the presence of the semester. I lived at home most of the time.in the dorm.The thesis is still affected by some. Some surveys that go out in the second trimester have not been able to go out to do it. It was changed to check the information at home, and the first -hand information was less.

My husband and I are also in Zhengzhou. Parents are here, and then there is a certain material foundation.So at the time I didn’t worry about anything else, I wanted to finish my studies.I think our goals and plans at that time were very clear. I just wrote a good paper, and my husband went to work.

I think this is also an important reason and premise we decided to have a baby during my study.If you do n’t have this premise, for example, both people are still at school, and parents cannot provide much help, or do not plan well, and suddenly become pregnant when they are studying one or Bo Er, which will really affect their studies.

Miss Li is at the age of 24 and studies in Lanzhou, who is currently living in Lanzhou

He was engaged in February 2022 and planned to get married in the second half of the year.

I and I have two people in the villagers. In the same session, I was still the same school in junior high school.In August 2020, we were all preparing to take the postgraduate entrance examination. My brother introduced us to know, and then we were together.In 21 years of the New Year, the two people met. Later, we all took place in the postgraduate entrance examination. He studied in Science and Technology in Xi’an and I studied in Lanzhou.

We originally planned to get engaged before graduate students. Because my cousin got married last summer, we postponed the engagement banquet in the Spring Festival this year and planned to get married in the second half of the year.This is also a comprehensive decision that integrates age and emotional state, the future plans of the two of us and the teachings of both parties.

The engagement ceremony of Ms. Li and Mr. Sugar

In fact, I tend to have children early. Before I met Mr. Sugar, my personal family concept was very light and I was more willing to run out. However, after encountering Mr. Sugar, the family concept was getting heavier and he was happy and enjoyed.After we were engaged, we bought a house in his hometown in Gansu. Now the wedding room is being renovated, and we may go to Xi’an to develop together in the future.Because of the epidemic, we did not return to school now, and we were in my hometown together.

At present, we all have plans to read blogs after graduating from a master’s degree. If we can continue to read the blog, we will consider giving birth to babies during the blog. If we do not read the blog, we will consider the matter and plan according to the work conditions.On the one hand, I really like little babies. On the other hand, we also consider the energy of the two of us and my physical recovery.We think that the bloging period will be easier than work.

Regarding why I decided to get married and have children so soon, I think the first and most important point is who this person is.The two of us have been familiar with each other from knowing each other to each other. Although it is not long, we have experienced a lot of things. The discussion and trustworthy state that has been cultivated slowly makes us feel stable.The love experience of both of us has not been vigorous. From the first day of confirmation of the relationship, it is steady.

The second is family relationship.In the process of getting along with his family and two families, it feels very comfortable. There are business and quantities, give each other to each other, and respect each other.In addition, the economic foundation, social foundation, and thinking of the next generation of the two sides are also valued by me. I don’t agree with the money. It is good. I think matching is the ideal state so far.

Another is our social relationship.After all, people are social animals. At present, everyone in the social circle of both of us goes up to the sun. They are a state where they have worked hard to meet each other. Then I think it is enough.

Wang Zi Men 28 -year -old doctor is studying in Beijing.

Do not plan to get married and give birth to baby during the blog

I am now the third year of reading Bo. The pressure of scientific research is really too great. I often wake up in the middle of the night to think about my progress.I don’t know if I can graduate someday, can I graduate, let alone get married and give birth to baby.

My emotions are not very stable. I occasionally quarrel with my girlfriend. Although we love each other very much, I am not good at myself, and the marriage is not even dare to think about it. If we get married, I may be a feather.

Neither of our families have a burden, and parents can provide some economic support, but they cannot solve the core problem -the academic pressure is too great. This problem can only be self -contained.Even with the guidance and help of my mentors and brothers and sisters, I have the support of my parents, but in the face of the pressure of scientific research, I still fall into anxiety and panic, and I do n’t even dare to think about the future. I dare not make too far planning.

Another important factor is Beijing’s household registration policy.Reading the Masterpiece is a collective household, which is similar to no hukou, and cannot buy a house.Marriage has little effect, but once it is born, it is troublesome to get from the spouse to the child’s settlement.And if my doctor failed to graduate, I would treat it according to the industry. Although there is still a fresh graduate status, as my current age, it is basically impossible for me to stay in Beijing and get a hukou.Children leave Beijing together.In this case full of uncertainty, I couldn’t speak to marry my girlfriend at all.

There are also my brothers who are married and born during my reading. In my opinion, it is not very happy.If the daughter -in -law works in Beijing, although she can meet frequently, she has almost relying on her daughter -in -law, and she doesn’t have much time and energy to take care of the baby.If the daughter -in -law is in the field, it is even worse. She can’t take care of the family at all. She can’t see a few times in the end of the year. It is no different from the single mother.And I don’t want to miss the growth of my child, nor do I want my family to be too hard.

Of course, there are also people and sisters who are married and born during the study and study. Most of them have household registration and houses. The mother -in -law’s family can also help take care of it. Without worries, they can’t postpone a year or two before graduating.

Taken together, as far as I personally, when I am reading the blog, it is better to go all out to scientific research and strive to graduate smoothly as soon as possible.When the water comes, you can really be responsible for your daughter -in -law and children.

(At the request of the interviewee, KEKE, Wei Wei, Miss Li, Mr. Sugar, Wang Zi are all pseudonyms)


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